Story Time - Management Special!!

Story time - Management Special

Story - I

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Usually the shop-floor staff of the company plays football. The middle-level managers are more interested in tennis. The top management usually has a preference for golf.
FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size.

 Story - II

A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”

Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave it enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

MORAL OF THE STORY:


Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Story - III

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there miserably in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

MORALS OF THE STORY:

1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Story - IV

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower & the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over who should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $ 800 just to drop that towel that you have on”. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies

“Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $! 800 he owes me?”

MORAL OF THE STORY:


Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure.




JOKE OF THE DAY!

A Senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100 mph; enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

‘Amazing!’ he thought as he flew down the M1, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

‘I can get away from him - no problem!’ thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 140mph. Suddenly, he thought, ‘What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense!’ So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver’s side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, ‘Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.’

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, ‘Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.’